Going out of business?

Well, looks like the end of the Dairy Bar is just around the corner. The real one that is. It is official that I am starting back to work and not just work but Full Time. This scares the crap out of me. Not that I couldn't handle working Full Time, but the fact that I am now going to be working 2 full time jobs when I'm barely above water at times with the one now! (As is Erik)
Delta called me back a couple of weeks ago and I said that if they called I would take it, although I was thinking of part time, not full time. Now it is upon me. I had been scrambling to find out how I would do the training because it would be the next 10 weeks of day shifts and paying someone to watch the kids and ending up making less than 3 dollars an hour did not sound like fun. Yesterday they called and let me know that they are now having a evening class. So yipee, right? That means that my day will start at 7AM to get Logan up and to school, then Abi (on Tue, Thur) deal with the house and kids and every thing that comes with it and try and figure out who will take the kids from 3-4ish every day So I can work until midnight just in time to crash in bed and get less than 7 hours of sleep (don't forget the baby that gets up 2 to 3 times in the time) and do it again! Sound like fun?
Oh and don't forget that I get to work Xmas, Xmas Eve and not see my Husband for one full day until who knows when. Yes I am a pessimist (that can't spell).
I didn't think I would be going back to work until the kids were all in school at the least. Especially full time. I ask myself if I am really going back for the right reasons? I feel like the number 1 o.k maybe # 2 reason is because Erik and my family don't want to lose flight benefits. Yes we need money but I could find a part time job or work more hours at church and make just about as much money. Haven't I done my part in flying our family as they want for the past almost 9 YEARS!
What hurts me the most is that If I go back I HAVE to wean Annika. I can not worry about her not eating and get up with her all night, while working too. The 2 are just not compatible. I haven't weaned either of the other 2. I believe in self weaning. I never ask her if she wants to nurse she always comes to me. So NO I am not still nursing her for my self (what ever that means). So the Dairy Bar may soon here end.