It's funny how things work. I worked so hard on getting all of my babies to nurse, for it did not come easy for any of them, or me. Then I wasn't in a hurry to wean any of them for I knew it would end soon enough.
Sure at times I would have loved to go to Vegas with friends or a weekend away with just Erik and I. I even was handed a trip to any where in Europe at one time but decided to not go because Logan was a newborn and still nursing. For the most part I haven't really even done the whole going out drinking part (I said for the most part). Unless I knew that they were going to be sleeping for the next 8-12 hrs or so.
I knew that those times will be there for years to come and the few short years I have to nurse my children won't be. It is not a lot to give up. At least for me.
Just like a last kiss from an old boyfriend or a last goodbye from an dying loved one, with out knowing it was a another last, that I layed down with my youngest (and probably last) baby for one last night time routine with out knowing that from then I would never again nurse my baby. Therefore with an a pit in my stomach ,the shop has closed.
I have been thinking about changing the name of the blog or even just giving it up. I enjoy writing it and by no means think that it has any good writing skills behind it, like so many I enjoy. (Proper sentence structure? What's that! I know that it is bad when even spell check doesn't come up with some of the words I have attempted!), and I have a personal blog I share with just a couple of friends that I really like the communication back and forth part of . I started 24hrdairybar for a couple of reasons I have shared. One I think of often is because I so wish, I could have something even just a note or two from my Dad that said something about his life, little tit bit's of what he thought about life or being a father, religion, anything. I was really pretty young when I lost him, sure I have a lot of great memories of him and I feel like I knew him in ways no others did, but for only the last what, 1/4 of his life. My thoughts have been that if something did ever happen to me, my kids will have a little part of me, what it is like to be a parent. (Someone please burn the other blogs that show the other end of the story ;) I don't have a problem posting the "all reality, all the time" and really putting it out there on just one blog, but I feel like I sometimes have to sensor this one for family or work friends may read it and they may not understand my "humor" or real me, but then again isn't that something I want my children to know about me too.
Stay tuned for something...
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