Just when you think your doing O.K

Out of no where whole days, weeks, or even years can change in just an instant. For example: the other day Logan left for school and Annika was sleeping so Abbie and I had our usual Mommy alone time by sitting down and reading and playing. Everything was honkey dory, rainbows and sunshine and then God forbid the phone rang! Yes, just a simple phone call turned our Abbie/Mommy time into Mommy/Spawn of the devil time. I knew at that time of the day the only people that would be calling me were busy, like my sister,Mom,Erik. So it was either a bill collector (not that we EVER have those calls, yea right!), Logans school, the library, or someone equally important that I didn't want my 2 year old screeching into the phone at ( well, the bill collector excluded). For the next 45 MINUTES I had to listen to a complete fit and slobering of "MY PHONE" "MINE" over and over, just because the lady we carpool with called. I knew that it was going to be just one of them days with my hormonal 2 year old.
I think Wedsneday was a year changing, hopefully not life changing day with Logan. I was not ready for the direction the day was about to take us in. On Monday we had found out that one of Logans teachers had Breast Cancer. As I read the letter sent home I had tears in my eyes and he asked what was wrong, my first mistake was answering the question which I now can see he didn't need to hear, Again. I said "Mrs P, is Very sick and will be out of school for a while" with a tear in my throat. His response was "It's O.K. she'll be back!" so calm and almost omniscient. It made me smile thinking maybe he knows more than I do. So on Wed as I walked Logan to the carpool car he started to scream that he didn't want to go, and cry and pull away. This was very unlike him. He has never had ANY problems with going to school, besides the usual my stomach hurts trick so he doesn't have to get dressed and ready to go routine. This time, I couldn't make him go or even take the time and calmly talk him through it at that exact moment. They were already late, and after trying to negotiate and pry, I knew he wasn't going to budge so I sent them on their way. Of course as soon as we got inside he said he wanted to go but I wasn't about to wake up my sick baby who had been throwing up all morning and finally had gotten to sleep. I made him sit at the table and work the whole time he was supposed to be in school. Later I tried to pry out of him why he didn't want to go to school and he finally admitted that he didn't want a new teacher. I know he is VERY sensitive to things like this because he hasn't adjusted well to a new swim teacher either. This disturbed me and I started thinking about all the things similar he has been acting up at lately and decided to give his teacher a call later and ask if she had noticed any thing. The teacher called back and said it was funny that I called because she was going to call me that night. She said that she has noticed a big change in Logan since December in many areas. He has been falling backwards instead of improving in areas of organization and even numbers and letters. I had already known that he was having problems with letters, but didn't even think twice about some of the other things she had pointed out. Instantly I felt like it was my fault. That I knew exactly how other Moms had felt when there children are diagnosed with something life changing. Yea maybe preschool isn't a big deal but is it what the future holds? I talked to his teacher for a good 10 minutes and hung up feeling horrible. She had suggested that he may need another year of preschool before going on to kindergarten, right there in that moment I felt like his whole life had changed. Not that I especially agreed with her but that the possibility of it is so heartbreaking.
I have cut down T.V time and computer time for the whole family and am thinking about closing up the blog for a while. Not that it especially takes up a lot of my time but often leads to me reading other blogs and unnecessary time on the computer. I am going to make sure that the next 6 months we have one on one school time at home, and try and catch up as much as possible. I know he is a smart kid, I have been around a lot of 4 year olds in my time and he is one of the most creative, imaginative kids or even People I have ever met. Instead of sitting here and writing or posting for an almost non-existent audience there is work to be done. I'm sure I will post every once in a while for this is my outlet and in many ways is therapeutic for me. I just won't be around as often ;(